Becoming His Bride

A radiant bride greeted her guests with a brilliant smile as she entered the reception hall after the wedding ceremony. She gracefully moved about the room, the train of her white gown flowing along the floor behind her, her veil cascading down her button-adorned back

She conversed with each guest one by one, taking the time to mingle and soak up the compliments.

"You look absolutely lovely."

"Your dress is divine."

"I've never seen a more beautiful bride."

"What a stunning ceremony."

The lavish praises rang on and on. The bride couldn't be more proud or more appreciative of the crowd's adoration. She could have listened to them swoon over her all evening. As a matter of fact, she did.

BUT WHERE WAS THE GROOM??

All the attention focused on the bride and never once did she call anyone's attention to her husband. She didn't even notice his absence at her side. Scanning the room, I searched for him, wondering, Where could he be?

I finally found him, but not where I expected him to be. The groom stood alone over in the corner of the room with his head down. As he stared at his ring, twisting the gold band that his bride had just placed on his finger, tears trickled down his cheeks and onto his hands. That is when I noticed the nail scars. The groom was JESUS.

He waited, but the bride never once turned her face toward her groom. She never held His hand. She never introduced the guests to Him. She operated independently of Him.

I awoke with a sick feeling in my stomach, realizing that I'd been dreaming....

(from the book "Every Young Woman's Battle"! Author, Shannon Ethridge, Stephen Arterburn)

When I read this story it almost broke my heart! I looked back on my life and I realzied that I could've been this bride. I have given my life to Jesus. I have placed the wedding band on his finger but I hardly held his hand or introduced people to him. I might have told people about him but I guess my actions didn't really line up with my words. And I soaked up all the compliments people gave me!

I would say I was almost addicted to those compliments. They kept me alive and made me feel beautiful and wanted!

I am glad that in the last half year of my life I've realized more what it means to become Jesus's bride and own it. But it still hurts my heart when I look back and realize all the times I have left my husband in a corner not even caring about how HE feels about what I do. 

I am super thankful for this story and the picture it gave me! 

Compliments are nothing bad. Don't get me wrong. But Jesus should be right at our side. We should hold his hand or be cuddled up in his arms and soak up all compliments he is giving us. 

And you know when you feel like a guy is persuing you and loving on you, there is not too much time to doubt if you are beautiful or not. When I feel loved and persued I feel soooo beautiful and I hardly think about if I am too fat or not funny or not beautiful enough, but I just enjoy the time of being loved. That's how it is supposed to be. When we put the wedding band on Jesus's finger we walk into a room and stay close to him. We introduce him to everybody cause he is our first love!! And we are excited about him. And when we get compliments, we will be blessed by those but just because we know already that we are beautiful and that we are loved and that we are stunning!! Cause our husband has told us those things already 1000 times more than all those guests on the wedding!

I really try to keep that picture in mind. The other night when I thought about the picture of this story and how I walk in a room with Jesus by my side and not alone I got butterflies and I feel like I get more and more what it means to fall in love with Jesus and becoming his bride!!

Once a woman becomes a bride, the focus of her life and priorities change, and all other people and priorities pale in comparison to her primary love relationship!!

(from the book "Every Young Woman's Battle"! Author, Shannon Ethridge, Stephen Arterburn)

Stewardship and God's faithfulness

So this is just a little fun story I want to post. But it is also a story of Gods goodness and faithfulness!

My room I have at home in my partents's house is not too big and plus I have tons of things everywhere. I had already a lot when I was younger but with traveling so much the last 3 years and always being home for just a little while I was okay with it.

But because I know this time I will be home a little longer (only God knows for how long or if forever=) I just needed a change! In Ywam I have learned a lot about stewerdship! So I thought if I have a small room and I want something bigger sometime I might should take really good care of what I have now. Cause how can God trust me with something bigger if I can't even take care of the small!

So I decided 2 weeks ago that I wanted to rearrange my room and make it look way nicer. First I wanted to wait until I have a job to get some cute furniture for it. Cause everything costs money right. But then I said "God I have soooo much time right now to do those things. I just need to find cute cheap furniture". I went to Ikea with my mom and we had such a fun afternoon picking out little things. My mom is super awesome and paid for a few things so I only paid like 150 dollars for so many things. 

So the next day I started cleaning out my room and throwing tons of stuff away. Until my room was almost empty. And then I saw all my walls and they were still white but they just looked dirty. So I went to my dad and asked if we still have white paint and he answered with yes. Guess what I did the next 2 days. Exactly I painted my walls and after a looooong week of cleaning and throwing away stuff and painting I was able to make my room look super cute and nice.

 My room before the change! And if you believe it or not. This is as tidy as it was able to be=)

 painting and having good talks with God

After!!! I even cleaned and organized my closet

After!!!Yep everything in it's right place!!! 

After!!! New little table and a new rack for my clothes

After!!! New mirror, lamp and drawer for my make up and hair stuff(my parents kept the drawer for me, cause they got a new one)

And a little story of God just being suuper awesome...

Because I haven't been home in a long time for a whole winter I might have had lots of shoes(most of them given to me) but not any shoes that actually kept my feet warm in the snow or the coldness of the winter in switzerland. So I also wanted to wait until I get a job. But then I said to God again: "Lord, I don't have a job yet but my feet are relly cold right now, and I need shoes! You know my budget please let me find some fun and warm shoes!!"

Guess what?!? I found two pairs of shoes! They were worth 150 Dollars, BUT they were on sale and I got them for 50 dollars! God is so awesome and he cares for EVERY SINGLE LITTLE THING in our life!!!

My Strong Tower

I'm looking for a job right now. I have applied in quite a few places, but there were not to many positive reponses yet.
I mean I was able to go for an interview but I just didn't feel peace to actually work there. So I have all those thoughts of what people could think if I don't take the first job that is offered to me, or if I expect something that is too good to be true.
I have all those lies in my head that "I am lazy", "after working in missions I might not be able to work something else anymore", "my money will run out" or "I will work somewhere horrible". All those lies constantly run through my head and it makes it hard to stay content with God and trust him. But I fight against it.
It is crazy cause just in the last Blog I wrote about my fight against loneliness. But I haven't really struggled too much with that this week... Satan will never stop to make life hard for us. He will never stop wanting to destroy us. He hates us! It is a daily fight. But sometimes it seems easier for us and sometimes it is harder for us to fight this battle. I guess he tries the hardest when we are about to do something great with God. And that makes me happy. Cause I really feel like God is about to do something great in and through my life!

As I was having quiet time this morning and as I was asking the Lord for help, that he would fill me with faith and confidence that everything is in his hands, he led me to this scripture:

"Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again, rejoice! Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do. Remember, the Lord is coming soon. Don't worry about anything, instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."

I know those words so well and yet it just always comforts my heart. And it works in every situation. Don't worry but pray! Be THANKFUL!
Well , so I started thanking the Lord for all the things I have and praying for those things that bring worries to my heart and he gave me an awesome picture for those times of trouble. Here it is:

I saw a strong tower in the middle of a battle field and also a tower in the middle of a crazy storm!
The Lord was telling me "If you hold on to that strong tower/ Me / The Lord nothing can harm you or blow you away. In times of battle you hold on to the strong tower. You might get some scratches of the explosions around you or you can feel the heat but nothing more, cause I am the Lord and I won't be shaken!
If there is a storm around you, you hold on to this strong tower. Yes you might feel the wind and the rain around you. And it feels like it's gonna blow you away. It might cost you all your strength to hold on to it but the strong tower is not to be shaken."
He also told me "Keep fighting daughter and don't worry after every battle follows peace and after every storm the sun will shine again."

Don't we have an awesome God! I have more than I need. No reason to worry. And I wanted to buy a car! I thought of an amount of money I am willing to spend and God gave me and awesome car for even less than the amount i was thinking of. He takes care of us. And he will give us what we need. But everything in it's time!! My job will come at the right time and until then I enjoy spending time with my provider!!
But hey, prayers are appreciated!=)
God bless you all!!

Feeling lonely

New Years Eve!! How nice would it be not to show up alone to another New Years Eve party. Dang, how many more years will it be that way....

Those were my thoughts. I prayed that God would make me feel so beatuiful and NOT alone. My friend picked me up to go to the party and I shared my struggle with her. She was listening and encouraged me.
When I got to our friends house where the party was held, it was filled with people. Of course mostly couples, married people, pregnant wifes and little children. My insecurtiy raised like 100%! Oh and not even 30 minutes after we got there I sat with two married girls and a 3 girl showed up that is in a relationship. She sat down her cheeks glowing. Super excited she tells us how her boyfriend just proposed to her in the morning. I was so happy for them but somehow my heart ached.
I forced a smile and congratulated her. But the only thing I wanted to do was leaving the party and just cry.
Successfully I held back my tears and a little later I talked to my friend agian. The one I shared my struggle with in the car earlier that evening.

Satan wanted to make my evening really terrible. He wanted to make cigarettes, alcohol and seeking my attention in men look really attractive, cause that would have been super comforting in that moment.But God was there with me. He heard my prayer before the party. The Lord knows my heart. And he doesn't let satan get to close to me.

My friend encouraged me again. She told me how she looks up to me. How she desires that relationship I have with the Lord. She said she loves spending time with me cause she feels so uplifted in those times!

A little later I am sitting next to her husband. He tells me how much transformation he has seen in me. He said I left 3 years ago, to go to LA and I came back as a total different person. Obviously he still recognized the way I looked but he hardly recognized me as a person. I have become so different in a positive way! He sees the way I devote my life to the Lord and everytime his wife comes back after hanging out with me she tells him how much of an awesome time she had. He encouraged me that what I am doing is excatly the right thing. That I might still be single but that I am falling in love with God and that I follow him. He sees how other women look up to me and the relationship I have with Jesus!

Later on I was hanging out with my dear friend Hannah! We had so much fun and all of a sudden she looks at me and tells me how beautiful I am. How my beauy comes from the inside out. And that this makes my outer beauty shine even brighter. She told me how good my body looks and how I am not allowed to doubt that fact!!

Seriously God is so good. I was so insecure and felt lonely. And I thought people might have pity on me and think "What?? She is still alone!! Please God give that woman a husband!!". But I don't think that anybody thought stuff that was even close to what I imagined they would. The ones that told me what they think were excactly God's thoughts about me!
Satan is the fahter of lies! Don't give him room to lie to you but listen to the father of truth. His truth is fullfilling and brings joy, confidence and contentment. I am not alone and neither am I desperate. I have desires but I trust in the Lord who wants only the best at the perfect time for me.

So in the time of waiting, I won't just sit around and wait and be sad about it. I will fight those feeling and live the life of fullness. I will devote my life to the Lord and follow him and encourage as much people as possible around me!
Whatever situation you are in, it is a gift God has given you. He wants to teach you something. So sit in class and learn as much as you can cause it will prepare you for the next gift the Lord will give you!!

Hannah & Me

Sandy that I shared my struggle with

Well that's me enjoying the sun in the swiss mountains=)