In Your Love

There's nothing I want more then to be in your love......

....My BIGGEST desire is to be in God's love. To be in his presence. To be in his loving arms.

But sometimes I get caught up with life, different situations or I face challenges. I get distracted and somehow lose focus on the one who gives me peace about everything. There is a reason why Jesus is called the prince of peace=).

This morning during my quiet time it hit me again, how desperate I am to be in the presence of the Lord.

I felt him saying: "Look into my eyes. Don't be ashamed because you got distracted by life, I understand.... But I want you to look into my eyes and see the thoughts and the love I have for you!!"

I am so overwhelmed by how gracious our loving Father is. So often we get distracted, or run away or just want our own will to happen, but then we realize that God is so much bigger. He sees the full picture. We turn back to him and he waits for us with open arms. And even in those times when we feel like we turn away, the Lord is right by our side and knocks on the door of our heart. He doesn't leave us nor forsake us. But we have our own will to turn to him and to open the door for him.

Often I just want to change myself. I try to be better, to trust more, to not worry and enjoy the day without thinking of tomorrow. But I can try as hard as I want, the one that can change me is only God. I have to fully depend on him and his grace. Cause he says:

"My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 2. Corinthians 12:9

I am depended on God. And that's why I desire nothing more then to be in his holy presence forever. That's the reason why I want to be in his love sooooo bad. So that He will continue to change me and make me more like Jesus -> the one that set me free and leads me to new freedom day after day!

Who Are You?

If I only could understand who God really is!! I really want to. And sometimes it frustrates me that I never will until the day I stand before him. Face to face.

I don't think I would doubt his ways anymore. It wouldn't be hard anymore to just trust.

The last few days as I was praying I asked the Lord "Who are you?? I don't understand you? Why do you love me? Why are you so good to me? What are you??" 

And he answered me....

....The Lord is king! Let the earth rejoice! Let the farthest coastlands be glad. 

Dark clouds surround him.

Righteousness and justice are the foundation of his throne.

Fire spreads ahead of him and burns up all his foes. His lighning flashes out across the world.

The earth sees and trembles.

The mountains melt like wax before the Lord, before the Lord of all the earth.

The heavens proclaim his righteousness; every nation sees his glory.

Those who worship idols are discraced-

all who brag about their worthless gods-

for every god must bow to him.

Jerusalem has heard and rejoiced, all the towns of Judah are glad because of your justice, O Lord!

For you O Lord are supreme over all the earth; you are exalted far above all gods.

You who love the Lord hate evil!

He protects the lives of his godly people and rescues them from the power of the wicked.

Light shines on the godly, and joy on those whose hearts are right.

May all who are godly rejoice in the Lord and praise his holy name!

Psalm 97

I am amazed by this. MOUNTAINS melt like wax before him. The earth sees and trembles....

... He who is so powerful, he who has so much power, he who is holy, actually cares for me. He has plans for me full hope! Sometimes it just seems so unbelievable that there is a God who cares for each and everyone of us. But when I look back on my life I know he does exist. And I get frustrated when I don't trust him. But even in those times the Lord is patient with me and he explains to me that he is Lord over my life.

This morning I drove to work and thought about this Psalm again. And I looked up to the sky. And I saw all those clouds, and the blue sky shining through it at different places. And everything looked so majestic. And still it is such a little part of this whole universe. We are something like the smallest living beings in this universe and HE CARES FOR ME. I guess that explains a little more how indescribable he is. 

I will be okay with not understanding him fully. But I will not stop persueing him. I won't stop asking him who he is, and searching for more of him, until the day when he'll take me home!

Surrender

What does it mean to surrender?

I have been in different situations where I wanted to control. I wanted to know how it is gonna end. Or let's say I still want to do it sometimes, that's why I am writing this post. I want to know what my future is gonna look like. And I start worrying. I know I have talked about not worrying a lot. But I guess I have to learn it over and over again that worries won't bring satisfaction. Nor will they tell me more about my future or how a situation is gonna end or continue. 
I've prayed so many times and still do "Lord I surrender it all to you, my past, my present and my future!". I feel good for like a second but then...

... I go back to my worries.

I surrender everything to my loving father. The one who knows everything. The one who has plans for me that are far more exciting then I could ever imagine. But I still worry. Isn't this unbelievable?!

So I was thinking what surrender means. I thought surrender means "Just let go. Don't do anything and just let God do it".
But this past weekend I feel like God gave me a bigger picture of what it means to surrender. 
It means to give up control, to trust God, that however the situation is gonna look like it will be the best for me. It will be wonderful. It will be after his plan.
To surrender means to REALLY trust God. I surrender, I let go of control and I trust. But in all of it to pray for everything and to believe and to have faith that life is wonderful and it will be wonderful!

To surrender means to be obiedient to God's voice. To listen to him. When I look back and I look at all the times I have been obedient it came out well. But I also look back at different times when I took over control, and I wanted it my way and it didn't come out that well. Of course God taught me lots of things through it. But only because he is so awesome to turn all bad things into good.

So maybe you know all of this already, but maybe you feel the same way as I do. You want to know what life is gonna look like next month or next year. And you have the problem that you fall into the sin of worrying all day long. But in those times, let's just go to God and worship him for who he is and what he has done. I heard it gives a different perspective. For everytime we want to worry let's thank him for a few things. Cause I am sure we have way more things to be thankful for than to worry. 
And I also realized that I can't do it by my own strength. I have to depend on God. And thats exactly what he wants. I think he brings us into different situations that are not clear to us or as easy to go through then others, so we can learn to depend on him and his goodness. He wants us to know that without him we can't do anything.

Yes, I am the vine, you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in the, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing. John 15:5

Walking On Water

I've noticed that I am really good in positive thinking. I see a situation in front of me and I pray and I totally believe everything is gonna be good. Everything will go well and God will totally lead me through it. Like my job. I heard of the job and I started praying like crazy and I just believed that I will get the job. It seemed almost impossible for me to actually get it, but God is bigger then all the circumstances and I got the job. Now I am working since 3 weeks. And I doubt myself a lot. I feel like I will fail or I won't be good enough. But this last weekend God led me to a scripture and a story of the bible. 

The scripture was just so encouraging cause God really knows all my ways and he is doing something new in my life! And I have to hold on to him really closly! And he will carry me through! He will make a way for me!

"For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland." Isaiah 43:19

It is so good to know that God really cares for me and he is always working in my life and I don't have to be afraid. 

The story God led me to is in Matthew 14. It talks about when the disciples were in their boat in the middle of a storm. Jesus comes walking on water. And they are really afraid and think he is a ghost.

But Jesus spoke to them at once. "Don't be afraid," he said. "Take courage, I am here!" Then Peter called to him, "Lord, if it's really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water."

"Yes, come," Jesus said. So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus. But when he saw the strong wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. "Save me, Lord!" he shouted. Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. You have so little faith," Jesus said. " Why did you doubt me?"

That's so me.... I have a situation in front of me, like the job or something like that. And I am totally excited and I say "Jesus we can do it. Even if there will be a storms, we can go through it! I can do anything with you!" But then I see clouds coming. And I get a little stressed. And when the waves are crashing in, I am terriefied. But I don't want to be like that anymore. I want to get out of the boat and run on the water. ONLY looking straight into the eyes of Jesus. I don't want to look to the left or right. Cause there are the waves and the wind. They only distract me. When I only look into Jesus's eyes I will be so focused on his strength and his power and totally forget about the waves. 

So if you are in a situation surrounded by a storm, but you are walking on the water already. Don't focus your eyes on the waves around you. You have made the first step. Just keep your eyes on Jesus and walk forward, step by step. You will get there without sinking!!

Heaven On Earth

Two weeks ago I started my new Job. I was trained in a different location then my actual workplace! I have been learning a lot of new things and it seemes like I can’t get anything else into my brain=) But I guess I still don’t know all of the things I am supposed to know. And tomorrow l will start at my actual work place. I will be the store manager of a women’s clothing store called Chicorée. I was super nervous. I worried that I won’t be good enough and that I would fail. That I wouldn’t lead in a godly way. But today I was on a walk with God and I just talked to him about it. Oh and he reminded me of how he has chosen me for this job. He will be the actual store manager and not me. He will work through me and he will love through me. I won’t always be able to do everything and that’s why I depend on him. He again showed me today, that He is in charge over everything. He has chosen me for this job, because He believes in me. He knows that I won’t be able to do everything perfect but God doesn’t look for the able ones but for the available ones. So I am available with the knowledge that I might fail sometimes. But only to grow stronger and get better in what I do!

So with all those thoughts and worries I prayed a lot for God’s kingdom to come. I prayed that the Lord will bring heaven on earth. I thought of what it would look like to have heaven on earth. And I realized that God chooses us believers for jobs like mine. So we can lead in godly ways. God places us in different situations so we can handle it with the love of Jesus Christ. It has become really important for me to be different. I want to see heaven on earth. But God wants to use me to make it happen. He could do it alone but for some strange reasons he has chosen us people as his tools to bring heaven on earth. So I thought of daily things I could do, to make a difference and live a kingdom life! I just smiled at people in the morning and greeted them. Sometimes they looked at me like I am from a different planet. It was so amusing to see the responses of all those people in the morning. Or I waited for the train. And everybody wants to get in the train first to get the best seat. And I felt like God told me to wait and let other people go in first, cause they deserve the best seat as much as I do. And I did, and the Lord still provided a good seat for me. I know those are just little things. But if we are not faithful in the little things like honoring the people around us, how can God trust us with bigger things!

I really want to see the Kingdom of God. But not when I get to heaven. I want to see it here and now! And want to see heaven here on earth and to see this I gotta value and honor the people around me. I need to use the authority God has given me with love and humility!

So I encourage you to ask the Lord what part you play in bringing heaven on earth! Help me to pray for an awakening! I want to see every generation on their knees praising God! I want to see all the nations give glory to our King in heaven! Be blessed during this week and use the authority God has given you. Ask him for wisdom how and when to use it!