Just yesterday I remebered that I have a blog that I want to update every week. These past 3 weeks have been crazy. I was so busy and didn't really get enough sleep! Yet, God totally carried me through it.
But it is defenetley the reason why I haven't posted anything on here for so long!
Like you guys know, I have been working with the Beauty Arise Ministy in Los Angeles. A ministry that helps women finding their true identity in God and speaking truth into their lives!
So when I came back to Switzerland in December, I sat down with different women and shared with them the vision of Beauty Arise. 4 of them joined the team and we have been starting to plan our first event. Just last thursday (one day before our first event) we had a 5th girl asking if she could be able to help and we welcomed her in our team!
Seriously our first event was so amazing. Around 30 women came and we all had a really good time. The 5 women of the team all shared a little testimony how God has transformed us and why we have a heart and a passion for women finding their identity in God. The 6th girl of the team will get another chance to share her awesome story but it would have been to spontanious for her to share already cause we just welcomed her in the team. But she did a wonderful job helping and serving us!!
We got so many positiv responses to the whole evening. After the event a few girls and me went out. One of the the girls said she was so touched by each and every story. And on sunday when I went to church some of the girls that came, walked up to me and said that they really enjoyed it. And one offered her help for a next event or something! God is so good!
So that's a little update of how everything went. But these weeks, while I was working as a store manager and preparing this Beauty Arise Event I felt often so weak. And sometimes I felt like it doesn't make sense what I'm doing. It was defently Satan trying to destroy something great! So often it scares me. to be in the position I am at. As a store manager the bad of the store weights on my shoulders. But the good mostly weights on the team. It is often like that..
In Beauty Arise I stand in front of people and share my heart and my life with these women. I tell them about my struggles and my victories. I have realized it is a good place to be but also super hard.
I know people watch me everywhere..(Not in a creepy way) Just the other day a friend from a gocery store of the mall where I am working at told me "Hey my friend told me you have a beautiful voice, she has heard you sing in church". I thought it was really fun cause I had no clue who she is. And it gave me also the realization that people can see me. They watch what I am doing.
The last week I was struggeling really hard with the desire to smoke cigarettes. I was just stressed and tired and the thought of smoking a cigarette seemed so relaxing. But seriously, the only thing that held me back the whole time was that I knew that people watch me.
I have a responsabilty on my shoulder that I am proud of but that is hard to have sometimes. But it gives me accountability. I can't just think about myself anymore. People look up to me or see me, when I don't see them. They want to see if I live what I "preach"!
God has been challenging me through this process and I am so thankful. Hahaha but I am a little tired, and sometimes I really just want to do what I feel like to do, but I gotta remember that I can change people's lives in the way I live and depend on God.
I really hope any of these words made sense to you. Cause I was processing my thoughts and the feelings of my heart. And they're really confusing sometimes!
May God bless you and remind you espacially these next days of his never ending grace.
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