Surrender

What does it mean to surrender?

I have been in different situations where I wanted to control. I wanted to know how it is gonna end. Or let's say I still want to do it sometimes, that's why I am writing this post. I want to know what my future is gonna look like. And I start worrying. I know I have talked about not worrying a lot. But I guess I have to learn it over and over again that worries won't bring satisfaction. Nor will they tell me more about my future or how a situation is gonna end or continue. 
I've prayed so many times and still do "Lord I surrender it all to you, my past, my present and my future!". I feel good for like a second but then...

... I go back to my worries.

I surrender everything to my loving father. The one who knows everything. The one who has plans for me that are far more exciting then I could ever imagine. But I still worry. Isn't this unbelievable?!

So I was thinking what surrender means. I thought surrender means "Just let go. Don't do anything and just let God do it".
But this past weekend I feel like God gave me a bigger picture of what it means to surrender. 
It means to give up control, to trust God, that however the situation is gonna look like it will be the best for me. It will be wonderful. It will be after his plan.
To surrender means to REALLY trust God. I surrender, I let go of control and I trust. But in all of it to pray for everything and to believe and to have faith that life is wonderful and it will be wonderful!

To surrender means to be obiedient to God's voice. To listen to him. When I look back and I look at all the times I have been obedient it came out well. But I also look back at different times when I took over control, and I wanted it my way and it didn't come out that well. Of course God taught me lots of things through it. But only because he is so awesome to turn all bad things into good.

So maybe you know all of this already, but maybe you feel the same way as I do. You want to know what life is gonna look like next month or next year. And you have the problem that you fall into the sin of worrying all day long. But in those times, let's just go to God and worship him for who he is and what he has done. I heard it gives a different perspective. For everytime we want to worry let's thank him for a few things. Cause I am sure we have way more things to be thankful for than to worry. 
And I also realized that I can't do it by my own strength. I have to depend on God. And thats exactly what he wants. I think he brings us into different situations that are not clear to us or as easy to go through then others, so we can learn to depend on him and his goodness. He wants us to know that without him we can't do anything.

Yes, I am the vine, you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in the, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing. John 15:5