Just yesterday I remebered that I have a blog that I want to update every week. These past 3 weeks have been crazy. I was so busy and didn't really get enough sleep! Yet, God totally carried me through it.
But it is defenetley the reason why I haven't posted anything on here for so long!

Like you guys know, I have been working with the Beauty Arise Ministy in Los Angeles. A ministry that helps women finding their true identity in God and speaking truth into their lives!
So when I came back to Switzerland in December, I sat down with different women and shared with them the vision of Beauty Arise. 4 of them joined the team and we have been starting to plan our first event. Just last thursday (one day before our first event) we had a 5th girl asking if she could be able to help and we welcomed her in our team!

Seriously our first event was so amazing. Around 30 women came and we all had a really good time. The 5 women of the team all shared a little testimony how God has transformed us and why we have a heart and a passion for women finding their identity in God. The 6th girl of the team will get another chance to share her awesome story but it would have been to spontanious for her to share already cause we just welcomed her in the team. But she did a wonderful job helping and serving us!!

We got so many positiv responses to the whole evening. After the event a few girls and me went out. One of the the girls said she was so touched by each and every story. And on sunday when I went to church some of the girls that came, walked up to me and said that they really enjoyed it. And one offered her help for a next event or something! God is so good!

So that's a little update of how everything went. But these weeks, while I was working as a store manager and preparing this Beauty Arise Event I felt often so weak. And sometimes I felt like it doesn't make sense what I'm doing. It was defently Satan trying to destroy something great! So often it scares me. to be in the position I am at. As a store manager the bad of the store weights on my shoulders. But the good mostly weights on the team. It is often like that..
In Beauty Arise I stand in front of people and share my heart and my life with these women. I tell them about my struggles and my victories. I have realized it is a good place to be but also super hard.
I know people watch me everywhere..(Not in a creepy way) Just the other day a friend from a gocery store of the mall where I am working at told me "Hey my friend told me you have a beautiful voice, she has heard you sing in church". I thought it was really fun cause I had no clue who she is. And it gave me also the realization that people can see me. They watch what I am doing.

The last week I was struggeling really hard with the desire to smoke cigarettes. I was just stressed and tired and the thought of smoking a cigarette seemed so relaxing. But seriously, the only thing that held me back the whole time was that I knew that people watch me.
I have a responsabilty on my shoulder that I am proud of but that is hard to have sometimes. But it gives me accountability. I can't just think about myself anymore. People look up to me or see me, when I don't see them. They want to see if I live what I "preach"!

God has been challenging me through this process and I am so thankful. Hahaha but I am a little tired, and sometimes I really just want to do what I feel like to do, but I gotta remember that I can change people's lives in the way I live and depend on God.

I really hope any of these words made sense to you. Cause I was processing my thoughts and the feelings of my heart. And they're really confusing sometimes!

May God bless you and remind you espacially these next days of his never ending grace.

The Beauty Arise Switzerland Crew=)

(Stefanie Urech, Me, Stefanie von Arx->the newest member, Fabienne Hunziker,

Nicole Hunziker, Janine Silva Cunha)

 Fellowship and food, the best combination

Me explaining the beginning of Beauty Arise and the vision of it.

The snacks for the event. We had defentley more then enough=)

The gift of friendships

I have been reflecting on my life a little bit!

I look back and see how God has blessed me with such awesome friends over and over again. It has not always been easy for me. I am such a relational person and most who know me know that I would love to be a wife rather sooner then later =) But God's plans for us are most of the times so different than our own plans. I have seen lots of my friends getting married and having babies. And even this summer 3 of my close girlfriends are getting married. 

So you can imagine that it is challenge for me to trust God with my future. Cause sometimes I defenetley have thoughts like, "God have you forgotten about me? Didn't you put the desire in my heart to get married and have kids? So why do you let me wait for so long? Oh well another SAFE THE DATE card! Maybe there is something wrong with me! Do I have too high expectations?"

These thoughts are all just lies from Satan. So I try not to give it too much of my time. But they still want to overtake my thinking at times.

But in all of this time of waiting and doubting, the Lord has placed many awesome friends in my life. I am so thankful for all of them. I know that the Lord has not forgotten me. He knows the desires of my heart. But he also knows that it is not the right time yet so he gives me tons of awesome girls to walk with me in all those seasons of hoping and growing. 

I think friendships really are a gift. A heavenly gift. And we gotta treasure this gift. Friends can hurt us. I know, but we also can hurt friends. I think we just have to be really humble. We have to forgive. Even if we don't want to forgive at times. But Jesus said forgive 7x70. So let's forgive, if we are mad. Cause God has given friends to us so they can carry us through hard times. But he has also given us friends so they can be excited with us.

He has given us friends to laugh with but also to cry with. We really have to take care of our friendships. Cause it is soooooooo valueable. 

Jesus is our great example of how to do friendships. We can look at the way he treated his disciples, but also so many people he didn't even know. And he also wants a friendship with us. He doesn't want us to have quiet time every morning just so it is done. He wants US!! OUR TIME! He wants to be included. He wants to laugh and cry with us. So he gives us friends here on earth. It is not complicated to have friends. We just have to value them more then ourselves. We have to put them first. I guess that's a little harder. But we can ask the Lord to help us. We can ask him to make us more like Jesus. And then we just love our friends. We invest in their lives.

So if you might have a hard time being single and waiting for your spouse, or you are fighting with one of your friends or everything is just going well, cherish the friendships God has given you. Cause no one can take those friendships away from you. You can learn so much from your friends and you can be an example to them! Be thankful for your friends and love on them.

So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. John 13:34

(Sarah Faye: Georgia! I staffed her DTS and we fell in love with eachother=) in a really pure way of course. We live on different continets but still we message eachother and pray for each other. )

(Steffi, Debi, Mary! 3 Sisters! Debi and me are close friends since over 10 years. So I also know her sisters ... We all got older and the age difference doesn't really matter anymore. So we all became super good friends and I am so thankful for those 3 women of God. It is ha gift to have them in my life)

(Steffi: We used to go to school together but never really talked too much. Around 4 years ago we met and started hanging out. It kind of endet up in a fight over a boy: A few weeks ago she messaged me on facebook. We met, and it was like the fight was forgotten. I mean we talked about it and we both apologized for our mistakes and we forgave. Now we are growing together with God and learn what it means to have our contenment in Christ)

(Jessica: Met her at Ywam La: We only started being super close friends after we knew eachother for 2 years. Crazy. But God has allowed us to deepen our friendship even if we live 1000 of miles apart from eachother)

There are tons of stories/pictures I would love to post but it would take a little too long! But I think you know what I am trying to say.

I want to encourage you to cherish your friendships. Make new friends and forgive your friends who have hurt you. It is worth it!

I love you guys and I am so thankful that you are reading my blog. It encourages me to keep doing what I'm doing!!

In Your Love

There's nothing I want more then to be in your love......

....My BIGGEST desire is to be in God's love. To be in his presence. To be in his loving arms.

But sometimes I get caught up with life, different situations or I face challenges. I get distracted and somehow lose focus on the one who gives me peace about everything. There is a reason why Jesus is called the prince of peace=).

This morning during my quiet time it hit me again, how desperate I am to be in the presence of the Lord.

I felt him saying: "Look into my eyes. Don't be ashamed because you got distracted by life, I understand.... But I want you to look into my eyes and see the thoughts and the love I have for you!!"

I am so overwhelmed by how gracious our loving Father is. So often we get distracted, or run away or just want our own will to happen, but then we realize that God is so much bigger. He sees the full picture. We turn back to him and he waits for us with open arms. And even in those times when we feel like we turn away, the Lord is right by our side and knocks on the door of our heart. He doesn't leave us nor forsake us. But we have our own will to turn to him and to open the door for him.

Often I just want to change myself. I try to be better, to trust more, to not worry and enjoy the day without thinking of tomorrow. But I can try as hard as I want, the one that can change me is only God. I have to fully depend on him and his grace. Cause he says:

"My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 2. Corinthians 12:9

I am depended on God. And that's why I desire nothing more then to be in his holy presence forever. That's the reason why I want to be in his love sooooo bad. So that He will continue to change me and make me more like Jesus -> the one that set me free and leads me to new freedom day after day!

Who Are You?

If I only could understand who God really is!! I really want to. And sometimes it frustrates me that I never will until the day I stand before him. Face to face.

I don't think I would doubt his ways anymore. It wouldn't be hard anymore to just trust.

The last few days as I was praying I asked the Lord "Who are you?? I don't understand you? Why do you love me? Why are you so good to me? What are you??" 

And he answered me....

....The Lord is king! Let the earth rejoice! Let the farthest coastlands be glad. 

Dark clouds surround him.

Righteousness and justice are the foundation of his throne.

Fire spreads ahead of him and burns up all his foes. His lighning flashes out across the world.

The earth sees and trembles.

The mountains melt like wax before the Lord, before the Lord of all the earth.

The heavens proclaim his righteousness; every nation sees his glory.

Those who worship idols are discraced-

all who brag about their worthless gods-

for every god must bow to him.

Jerusalem has heard and rejoiced, all the towns of Judah are glad because of your justice, O Lord!

For you O Lord are supreme over all the earth; you are exalted far above all gods.

You who love the Lord hate evil!

He protects the lives of his godly people and rescues them from the power of the wicked.

Light shines on the godly, and joy on those whose hearts are right.

May all who are godly rejoice in the Lord and praise his holy name!

Psalm 97

I am amazed by this. MOUNTAINS melt like wax before him. The earth sees and trembles....

... He who is so powerful, he who has so much power, he who is holy, actually cares for me. He has plans for me full hope! Sometimes it just seems so unbelievable that there is a God who cares for each and everyone of us. But when I look back on my life I know he does exist. And I get frustrated when I don't trust him. But even in those times the Lord is patient with me and he explains to me that he is Lord over my life.

This morning I drove to work and thought about this Psalm again. And I looked up to the sky. And I saw all those clouds, and the blue sky shining through it at different places. And everything looked so majestic. And still it is such a little part of this whole universe. We are something like the smallest living beings in this universe and HE CARES FOR ME. I guess that explains a little more how indescribable he is. 

I will be okay with not understanding him fully. But I will not stop persueing him. I won't stop asking him who he is, and searching for more of him, until the day when he'll take me home!

Surrender

What does it mean to surrender?

I have been in different situations where I wanted to control. I wanted to know how it is gonna end. Or let's say I still want to do it sometimes, that's why I am writing this post. I want to know what my future is gonna look like. And I start worrying. I know I have talked about not worrying a lot. But I guess I have to learn it over and over again that worries won't bring satisfaction. Nor will they tell me more about my future or how a situation is gonna end or continue. 
I've prayed so many times and still do "Lord I surrender it all to you, my past, my present and my future!". I feel good for like a second but then...

... I go back to my worries.

I surrender everything to my loving father. The one who knows everything. The one who has plans for me that are far more exciting then I could ever imagine. But I still worry. Isn't this unbelievable?!

So I was thinking what surrender means. I thought surrender means "Just let go. Don't do anything and just let God do it".
But this past weekend I feel like God gave me a bigger picture of what it means to surrender. 
It means to give up control, to trust God, that however the situation is gonna look like it will be the best for me. It will be wonderful. It will be after his plan.
To surrender means to REALLY trust God. I surrender, I let go of control and I trust. But in all of it to pray for everything and to believe and to have faith that life is wonderful and it will be wonderful!

To surrender means to be obiedient to God's voice. To listen to him. When I look back and I look at all the times I have been obedient it came out well. But I also look back at different times when I took over control, and I wanted it my way and it didn't come out that well. Of course God taught me lots of things through it. But only because he is so awesome to turn all bad things into good.

So maybe you know all of this already, but maybe you feel the same way as I do. You want to know what life is gonna look like next month or next year. And you have the problem that you fall into the sin of worrying all day long. But in those times, let's just go to God and worship him for who he is and what he has done. I heard it gives a different perspective. For everytime we want to worry let's thank him for a few things. Cause I am sure we have way more things to be thankful for than to worry. 
And I also realized that I can't do it by my own strength. I have to depend on God. And thats exactly what he wants. I think he brings us into different situations that are not clear to us or as easy to go through then others, so we can learn to depend on him and his goodness. He wants us to know that without him we can't do anything.

Yes, I am the vine, you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in the, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing. John 15:5

Walking On Water

I've noticed that I am really good in positive thinking. I see a situation in front of me and I pray and I totally believe everything is gonna be good. Everything will go well and God will totally lead me through it. Like my job. I heard of the job and I started praying like crazy and I just believed that I will get the job. It seemed almost impossible for me to actually get it, but God is bigger then all the circumstances and I got the job. Now I am working since 3 weeks. And I doubt myself a lot. I feel like I will fail or I won't be good enough. But this last weekend God led me to a scripture and a story of the bible. 

The scripture was just so encouraging cause God really knows all my ways and he is doing something new in my life! And I have to hold on to him really closly! And he will carry me through! He will make a way for me!

"For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland." Isaiah 43:19

It is so good to know that God really cares for me and he is always working in my life and I don't have to be afraid. 

The story God led me to is in Matthew 14. It talks about when the disciples were in their boat in the middle of a storm. Jesus comes walking on water. And they are really afraid and think he is a ghost.

But Jesus spoke to them at once. "Don't be afraid," he said. "Take courage, I am here!" Then Peter called to him, "Lord, if it's really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water."

"Yes, come," Jesus said. So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus. But when he saw the strong wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. "Save me, Lord!" he shouted. Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. You have so little faith," Jesus said. " Why did you doubt me?"

That's so me.... I have a situation in front of me, like the job or something like that. And I am totally excited and I say "Jesus we can do it. Even if there will be a storms, we can go through it! I can do anything with you!" But then I see clouds coming. And I get a little stressed. And when the waves are crashing in, I am terriefied. But I don't want to be like that anymore. I want to get out of the boat and run on the water. ONLY looking straight into the eyes of Jesus. I don't want to look to the left or right. Cause there are the waves and the wind. They only distract me. When I only look into Jesus's eyes I will be so focused on his strength and his power and totally forget about the waves. 

So if you are in a situation surrounded by a storm, but you are walking on the water already. Don't focus your eyes on the waves around you. You have made the first step. Just keep your eyes on Jesus and walk forward, step by step. You will get there without sinking!!

Heaven On Earth

Two weeks ago I started my new Job. I was trained in a different location then my actual workplace! I have been learning a lot of new things and it seemes like I can’t get anything else into my brain=) But I guess I still don’t know all of the things I am supposed to know. And tomorrow l will start at my actual work place. I will be the store manager of a women’s clothing store called Chicorée. I was super nervous. I worried that I won’t be good enough and that I would fail. That I wouldn’t lead in a godly way. But today I was on a walk with God and I just talked to him about it. Oh and he reminded me of how he has chosen me for this job. He will be the actual store manager and not me. He will work through me and he will love through me. I won’t always be able to do everything and that’s why I depend on him. He again showed me today, that He is in charge over everything. He has chosen me for this job, because He believes in me. He knows that I won’t be able to do everything perfect but God doesn’t look for the able ones but for the available ones. So I am available with the knowledge that I might fail sometimes. But only to grow stronger and get better in what I do!

So with all those thoughts and worries I prayed a lot for God’s kingdom to come. I prayed that the Lord will bring heaven on earth. I thought of what it would look like to have heaven on earth. And I realized that God chooses us believers for jobs like mine. So we can lead in godly ways. God places us in different situations so we can handle it with the love of Jesus Christ. It has become really important for me to be different. I want to see heaven on earth. But God wants to use me to make it happen. He could do it alone but for some strange reasons he has chosen us people as his tools to bring heaven on earth. So I thought of daily things I could do, to make a difference and live a kingdom life! I just smiled at people in the morning and greeted them. Sometimes they looked at me like I am from a different planet. It was so amusing to see the responses of all those people in the morning. Or I waited for the train. And everybody wants to get in the train first to get the best seat. And I felt like God told me to wait and let other people go in first, cause they deserve the best seat as much as I do. And I did, and the Lord still provided a good seat for me. I know those are just little things. But if we are not faithful in the little things like honoring the people around us, how can God trust us with bigger things!

I really want to see the Kingdom of God. But not when I get to heaven. I want to see it here and now! And want to see heaven here on earth and to see this I gotta value and honor the people around me. I need to use the authority God has given me with love and humility!

So I encourage you to ask the Lord what part you play in bringing heaven on earth! Help me to pray for an awakening! I want to see every generation on their knees praising God! I want to see all the nations give glory to our King in heaven! Be blessed during this week and use the authority God has given you. Ask him for wisdom how and when to use it!