The past is history

Again it has been a long time since the last time a posted a new blog. I have just been crazy busy and didn’t find time to sit down and actually process my thoughts and post it on my blog!

I think there are two things that I have been working through the last 2 weeks….

1.  The past is history, the future is a mystery but the present is a gift!

A friend of mine told me that. I mean I have heard it before but I was so good to hear it again!

Have you ever found it difficult to enjoy the present. Cause there is so much that happened in the past and you think about what you would change if you could go back, but at the same time your thankful that it happened cause it made you to the person you are now.

So we think about our past mistakes and we are so afraid that we might do them again in the future. And we really don’t want to do the same mistakes again. Yet we are super busy thinking about the future and all the things that could happen that we totally forget about the present!

Right now!! What is happening in my life right now? Where am I at?? I have tons of good friends around me and I am able to spend time with time invest in their lives and learn from them and what they’re going through in their lives.

I have my family around me. And can visit them whenever I want and whenever I have time for it. I am able to spent lots of time with my parents and just enjoy their presence. I am starting a new ministry Beauty Arise, and I have a good job position. And even if I struggle many days with insecurities that I am not good enough for the job I will push through and trust God that he will give me the strength to keep going. So I have so many options to be a light in the world why should I constantly think about my past that is history or my future that is a mystery!

I should rather think about the present and how I can bless the people around me and how I can prepare myself not to make the same mistakes of my past in the future again! And I should enjoy every second of life cause I won’t get back any moment of my life. So I decided to treasure each day even if it might be hard. But even in hardships God is teaching me things and making me more like him!!

2. Have you ever felt like the past is hunting you??

This is kind of what I felt these last few weeks. That’s probably why I had a hard time to treasure the present!

For around 2 weeks I had the hardest time not to go to a gas station and get myself some cigarettes. This last week, has been way better, what made me really happy. Then I thought I am over this stupid habit of going out to seek my attention in guys. But last Friday I was out with a friend and there were so many guys I had a crush on in my past. I mean I was not in love with them. It was just a crush and the desire to be loved. But like 5 of them were there. It was like the past slaped me in my face. And I totally felt the same thing again. I was in the bar and I could feel the hunger of wanting the attention, wanting to be accepted and mostly wanting to be persued. I went back home and I felt so empty. Then on Sunday I had to sing in church and I just didn’t feel like standing on the stage and singning about how much I love God, when I was just out and wanting the attention of guys who don’t love God at all. So I decided to get up super early on Sunday morning and get back to the heart of God. Giving up all my rights and surrendering all my struggles again. Coming back to the foot of the cross and ask for forgiveness and new strength in this battle of the unseen world! And it felt so good.

But after I prayed it was not that the desire of attention just left me. Actually not at all. But I knew that I surrendered it and I told God that I can’t do it alone and that I need his help in this battle.

I won’t give up and I hope that you won’t give up either. I know it is hard. I totally feel you. But keep pushing through it and it will get easier with time. I don’t say it will ever stop here on earth. But with every time our struggles come back we know how to handle it better and how to respond to it!

Don’t be afraid of temptation. Cause temptation will hunt us until we stand in the presence of the Lord. Satan will not stop trying to pull us away from God until we die.

But be aware of what you do when you are tempted. Are you tempted and you start compromise o r do you rebuke it when it gets into your life?!

I would love to tell you that I rebuke temptation everytime it hits me. But it would be a big lie. But I won’t stop fighting against it. And I will get up again after everytime I fall flat on my face=)

Be encouraged and don’t give up!!!