And again it has been way too long since I have written on my blog. I guess it has been kind of hard to find time for myself in doing worship at church, being a newly wife, the main leader of Beauty Arise, doing a good job at my work place and finding out that I am pregnant=)
All of it is wonderful, but these last weeks I have thought about my relationship with God a lot. I miss the intimacy I used to have in spending time with him. But sometimes it feels like I don't have time and when I have time I don't really feel like getting deep with God because it is really comfortable to not change and just stay the way I am.
So since a few weeks I have startet to do a small devotional everyday. Its only about 5 Minutes. But it feels really good. I think those 5 minutes a day made me more hungry for God.
I want more of God again. But there is also that part in me that pushes me always away from him and I believe it is the view I have of myself.
There was a time when I was really good in loving myself when I looked in the mirror. But I can't remember when I had those feelings the last time.
Since I am pregnant it has gotten way worse. It makes me really sad. Cause thats exactly what I was so passionate about. To encourage girls and women around me. Seriously, I am leading a Ministry thats called Beauty Arise. But since a while I don't feel like beauty is arising when I enter a room. Not because of my looks but because of my heart. It's almost as if I have given up the fight.
I know it all sounds kind of depressing but it is not. I am actually really glad that I am writing this right now. Cause I will not give up. I will start all over again. I will start fighting again when I look in the mirror and I don't like what I see.
I have not been able to encourage other girls and women around me because I was not able to really love myself.
I don't want that. If i stop, the enemy has won and I won't let him win.
Cause I have a wonderful God on my side who has created me so wonderfully. He sees me and celebrates my beauty and I need him more than ever.
So if you feel like I do right now I want to encourage you not to give up. Keep fighting for your beauty cause you are
TRULY BEAUTIFUL!!
Monday, August 10, 2015
Truly Beautiful
Posted by Dorothea Wehrli at 11:40 AM
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1 comments:
HI, this is a very honest post which I think is really brave and makes you beautiful, because being honest is one of the best qualities you can have.
so keep on fighting. because it's just life to feel ugly sometimes and to feel down. because it will keep you remembering that we are not perfect and that we are nothing without God's grace and mercy.
so keep on fighting the good fight.
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