Child, Never Doupt Your Value

I just watched the series of "The Chronicles of Narnia" for the first time. I don't know why I never watched it before but those are the most amazing movies I've ever seen. But I guess God knows why he never put the desire in my heart to watch it. If I would have watched it 3 or 4 years before now, I don't think I would have understand that much! On my journey with God in the last 3 years, I was able to learn a lot about God the Bible and his truth but I know that we will always be in a process of learning.

In the last few days I couldn't get those movies out of my head. Espacially the relationship the little girl Lucy has with Aslan! In the movie, she is the youngest of the 4 siblings but somehow she always sees Aslan(he represents Jesus) and believes also that He is always with them. I am the youngest in my family and I have 3 siblings. My oldest brother goes his way with God but my other brother and my sister struggle a lot. Sometimes it is so hard to see that and still believe that God will touch their hearts.

I want to share with you a scene of the second movie which kind of touched two big areas of my life. It is Lucy talking to Aslan after she just spoke a spell over herself to be her older sister Susan. She wanted to be Susan because of her Beauty but the whole short scene makes her feel terrible. So the spell disappears and Aslan shows up...

(so first the youtube Video of what happens with a song and then the conversation between Lucy and Aslan)

Aslan: Lucy

Lucy: Aslan???

Aslan: What have you done Child?

Lucy: I don't know. That was aweful.

Aslan: But you chose it Lucy!

Lucy: I didn't mean to chose all of that. I just wanted to be beautiful like Susan! That's all!

Aslan: You wished yourself away! And with it much more! Your Brothers and Sister wouldn't know Narnia without you Lucy! You discovered it first, remember??

Lucy: I'm so sorry!

Aslan: You doupt your value! Don't run from who you are.

So that conversation just really touched my heart. How many times do we wish to look like somebody else. But I guess with that desire we wish much more than we actually want. We forget our value and who we are! I have done that so many times. Often I looked at people and I wanted to have something that they had. But now I really try to look in the Miror imagining Aslan(Jesus) standing next to me and warning me saying "love yourself, don't run away from who you are, cause that's what I made you to BE. You have a destiny and I need you for that exactly as who you are". 

And also how he tells her "you have seen Narnia first, without you, your brothers and your sister wouldn't know it". It just gave me so much strenght to be who I am and to follow God's calling. Cause like I said I have also 2 brothers and 1 sister and people have spoken over my life that the way I follow God will touch my family. I will believe in that and really continue to appreciate who I am and how I look cause I think everytime I look in the mirror and think something is wrong Jesus, is standing there with tears in his eyes and telling me "why do you always doupt your value??"!

In our Lords Kingdom we are all Kings and Queens so lets start to think, live and fight like Kings and Queens!

Thanks for reading it and I hope it will encourage you!!

(Theme song)

So the last few weeks I was thinking about my past. Times when I came to a new place and I wanted to impress people. Times I was in a place of speaking in front of a group. I was thinking about what is going through my mind in those moments. Here some thoughts I had in those situations: "How should I give myself to impress them? What would be really smart to say? I really hope they think I look good? Should I be more quiet so people like me? How could I change that they completley accept me?". But I think what I processed most in those last few weeks were times I fell in love. I realized that in the past I compromised some of my standards, just to impress a guy or I tried to change me, my character, the way God made me. I had thoughts like "Maybe he doesn't like my body! No he told me I am beautiful! But why doesn't he like me more than a friend. Oh I think I am to loud. I should be more quiet and interesting. I shouldn't be as extroverted. Maybe I am too holy. I guess I talk about God and his ways way to much. I really gotta figure out what I gotta change to make HIM like me! I guess he would not wait with sex until we get married and he knows that I want to wait. Would he like me if I would sleep with him?".
Those were some thoughts I had in those times. Does that sound familiar to you? Have you had those thoughts before? Isn't it crazy to even spend a second to think like that. Our almighty, loving, all knowing, perfect God calls us his MASTERPIECE and we think about what we could change about ourselves so a person that might not even matter that much in our live could like us a little more. I just think that's crazy. But still we fall into that thinking process over and over again. I guess that really shows that we need God even more. Or at least it helped me to realize that I need him so much more. Cause the world tells me constantly I gotta change. And then I meet a guy and he doesn't like me the way I am. Of course I have to change something. Cause we are in a world that tells you "if you want something, get it no matter what the cost". That's so sad.
I really want to learn to love myself more and more. To be so confident in who I am that I know if someone doesn't like me it is not my fault. It is not something I have to work on. It is because the way God made the other person. And also it is because God has something else for us. Maybe something way different or also maybe to a total different timing than we think is right!
I am really learning to trust the Lord that he made me as his masterpiece. That he was thinking about the perfect plan he has for me when he made me. And that he needs me to be who I am to fulfill this plan!!
So I want to encourage you also to appreciate the way God made you. Appreciate the time he invested of getting your lifeplan ready!! You are perfect and awesome! Believe it!!!

So yesterday I was out with a few friends. I had like an hour to drive home and I was suuuuper tired. The idea of keeping myself awake was praying. So I started praying for the fun time I had out with my friends, their lives, and about the whole process I am learning and wrote about. I listen to some music from an old TV show called "Dawson's Creek". And then the song below came on. It was like God singing a song to me and it made me just laugh!! Here it is: =)

God persues us!!

Hey single ladies, but also those of you who are in relationships and of course hello married women of God!
I am trying to get a deeper and deeper relationship with God. It has been an amazing journey.
But like a lot of you there are times when I feel really lonely. I am single and learning to see it as a wonderful gift that God has given me for this season of my life. But still there is sometimes a feeling of loneliness. Because I put myself through some disappointing situations with guys, I have decided that I won’t look at myself as single for the next 5 months. It has been almost 2 weeks since my decision. I feel like I’ve learned already so much.
What is my worth, what kind of woman do I want to be for my future husband, what expectations do I have for my future husband and and and!! It is really challenging to think about all those things. But it is also extremely interesting to think about it.
One thing that I was thinking about was that God wants to persue us. It doesn’t matter if we are single, in a relationship or married. Maybe you are married but there is still a feeling of loneliness and you thought it will go away when you are married. Through that you might’ve put a lot of pressure on your man to fill that feeling. But guess what, God is standing on the door to your heart. Just waiting for you to see all the signs he is giving you. Signs of love, signs of him persuing you. Or you are in a relationship and you just had a big fight with your boyfriend or finance. It feels so good to just go out and get some attention from somebody else, but again God is just waiting in front of the door of your heart. He wants to persue you and give you everything all those guys and wonderful men of God can’t give us. And they will never be able to give that to us!!
Think about that, who has a boyfriend or a fiancé or a husband who just prints a rainbow on the sky, or who just draws a wonderful romantic sunset, or plants you a field of flowers. Isn’t that crazy to think there is somebody who is doing that for us.
I had my eyes wide open in the last few days for all those things. And I started realizing that God knows my heart. He knows I love romance. That is exactly the way he will persue me.
Why don’t we just lay down all those expectations on those men and let us be persued by the God of the universe. If we can do that I think we will have a expression on our face that will make man of God want to persue us more. Because they’ll see us being content. They will see the love we have for God but also for everything he has given us. Our character, our body, our face, our skin color, our eyes. They will see something in us and they will be willing to persue that because they will see a piece of God in us. And I think that’s what it means when we read something like “A woman’s heart has to be so hidden in God that a man has to seek him to find her”!
Let God love on us no matter if we are single, in a relationship, engaged or married or divorced. Let him show us what it means to be persued and I think then we won’t settle anymore for guys who might not be serious. Or guys who might try search the same thing we’ve searched for, for so long. Let us be Proverbs 31 Women!

She is clothed in strength and dignity. She laughs without fear of the future. When she speaks her words are wise and she gives instructions with kindness. She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness. Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her: “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world but you surpass them all. Charm is deceptive and beauty does not last. But a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised. Reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds publicly declare her praise. Proverbs 31, 25-31

Thank you all for reading this and letting me share some of my thoughts!

Listen to my voice in the morning, Lord. Each morning I bring my requests to you and wait expectantly. Psalms 5,3 

My future is something I think about a lot. I’m always worried. What should I do? What will happen? Where will I be? Will I have enough?

But why do I worry? I really don’t know. When I look back I can’t remember one situation God didn’t provide or God didn’t lead me through hard times. He was always there, right by my side. And He will always be. It says it so clearly in Matthew 6 that I don’t have worry. That God will take care of me. That He will provide for everything I need. Our lives will not get any longer when we worry. And we cannot change things with worries. So we gotta enjoy every minute God gives us.

What if we exchange every worry into a dream. Wouldn’t it be way more fun to dream with God, instead of not trusting that he has awesome plans with our lives. Lets honor Him and trust that everything is in His control. Dream big and trust that God will make something beautiful out of it.

Passion

I’m in Chile right now. I am leading (with 2 good friends of mine, Jessica and Shaun Hover) a team of 11 students. Our goal here is to reach the Chilean youth through sports and show them the love of Christ. We are supporting also the long term missionaries and help them to build their Base, so they’ll be able to continue the friendships and ministries they have already.

 When we left LA I felt kind of lost. I had to think back and remember my passion. Investing in young women, encourage them and helping them to find their identity in Christ. I have 6 wonderful women with me here and that’s my job for the next 10 weeks. I want to be an example that there is more in a life of a woman than to look good or having a nice body. As I figured that out I felt attacked from the enemy in exactly those things. I felt like I want a better looking body and food was a big issue in my thoughts. I started thinking that I am failing because I thought so much about it instead of being an example. But then my friend Jess reminded me that I am not failing. That I am tempted and that the enemy just wants to destruct, and I won’t let destruction happen. I will live out my passion of encouraging girls in their beauty and identity in Christ. I also will listen to my own words and take it for my own heart.

“That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life - whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?

And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith? So don’t worry about these things, saying “What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?” These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s  trouble is enough for today.” Matthew 6,25-34