Don't Worry!! Just BELIEVE!!

I just want to start this post with a story that just happened in my life!
I was looking for a job. I prayed and told God what kind of Job I would like to have. And some of the main points were: store manager, close to where I live, women clothes, and a few more..
I got a Job and I will be store manager of a women clothes store called Chicorée. It is 10 minutes away from my home and just pretty amazing.
First I didn't even apply for this position. I didn't even know about it. And the during the interview, I shared my interest in being a store manager, and then they told me about it. So the whole process of applying, interview, test working and waiting for their respond went on for like 4 weeks. It is short but it felt so long. But from the beginning I had such peace and when I talked about the Job, I just declared that I will get this Job!! There was one day of doubt. But then I talked with a friend of mine and she said "those times of waiting are hard but it depends on the attitude of our hearts"!! It was totally what I needed. I knew if God wants me to have the Job I will get it. But I still prayed for it and I continued to declare that I will have it and I BELIEVED! Now I look back and I am so happy. Cause if I would've worried the whole time, I think I wouldn't be as happy as I am now. I tell you it is way more fun to get a prayer answered when you believe instead of worry!!

Here some worries I have/had and I've heard people share, and Gods answers to all those worries!

We might say: "God I don't have a job, please I need a job. What should I do all day long, if I don't have one?"
He says: "The harvest is plentyfull but the workers are few." Matthew 9:37
I know we need a job. But listen, in the time you are looking for a job work for his Kingdom. It is right in front of you and it says in Matthew 6:33 "Seek the Kingdom of God above all else and live rightously and he will give you everything you need!"

We say: "Lord I need new clothes. I am tired of my old ones! Please help me!"
He says: "And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don't work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith??" Matthew 6:28-29

Some of us worry about when we'll be getting married or if we are getting to old to have kids.
But God is the Author of time and it says in his word: "But I am trusting you, O Lord, saying, "you are my God". My future is in your hands." Psalm 31:14-15

We tell ourselves: "I don't think I have a big enough impact in God's Kingdom!"
But the truth is written and it says: "I tell you the truth, anyone who believes in me will do the same works I have done, and even greater works, because I am going to be with the Father!" John 14:12

"What if my life will be boring??"
God gives the answer to this one too: "For I know the plans I have for you. Plans for good not for disaster. Plans to give you a hope and a future." Jeremaiah 29:11

"But God, my past!! Will I ever be able to forget, forgive or change?"
He says: "Dear one, anyone who belongs to me has become a new person. The old life is gone, and the new life has begun." 2. Corinthians 5:17

"God do you really love me? I am not worthy of your love, am I really your Child?"
And he responds right back: "I sent him(Jesus) to buy freedom for you who were slaves to the law, so that I can adopt you as my very own children....
....Now you are no longer a slave but but my own child. And since you are my child, I have made you my heir." Galations 4:5+7

"Sometimes I wonder if the Lord even hears my prayers!"
And the truth is written: "And we are confident that he hears us whenever we ask for anything that pleases him. And since we know he hears us when we make our requests we also know that he will give us what we ask for." 1.John 5:14-15

So I just want to encourage you with two more scriptures. First, please try to worry less and to pray more. Cause that's what God wants us to do.
"Don't worry about anything, instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him fo al he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand, His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

And second, when you pray have faith and believe that the things you pray for will actually happen. It is so powerful and God is really challenging me to pray for things that seem impossible. And I am scared of getting disappointed. And you know what, God will not answer all the prayers the way I want to and he might even say NO sometimes, but it doesn't change the fact that he is God. Loving, patient, kind, graceful and he has still the best plan for us!!
"Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen. It gives us assurance about things we cannot see!" Hebrews 11:1
Be blessed and dream and pray BIG!!!!

Don't Awaken Love Until It's Right

Last night I was laying in bed! Just thinking about the way I have fallen in love with my God. It happened the last 3-4 months. I can only guess it was the grace of God that let it happen. Cause I've tried to fall in love with Jesus before. I thought it has to work the way we fall in love with the opposite sex. I thought it would feel the same to fall in love with God. Cause it is the only thing I can compare it to right?! So I've tried many times not to look at guys anymore and just forcing myself to have butterflies thinking about God. It never really worked and I ended up being so empty cause id didn't give me the attention I desired. But like I said IT didn't give me the attention. Of course it wouldn't, cause I was so interested in what I could get and so focused on forcing myself not to be human, instead of just being interested in God as my friend and lover. But we are humans and God made us and the opposite sex. And it is okay to look and to get to know someone. But we cannot live by it. It cannot rule our lives. God put the desire of not being alone into our hearts and he will fulfill it at the right time.

I pushed myself to fall in love with God the same way I would fall in love with a guy, and it didn't work over and over again. I got so frustrated and dissappointed. I thought something is wrong with me and I will never be content with just being single and it scared me!! It litteraly scared the crap out of me! Cause you know how people say "you know when I finally was done with relationships and I was just content with God, He brought my spouse into my life"! And I just thought to myself, I guess I will be alone my whole life. Cause I've said many times I am done and I've tried to fall in love with God but it didn't work. So I guess my destiny is to feel alone and to struggle with everything that comes with loneliness and I will die as an old virgin.

But then in the fall 2012, like some of you know, I went to YWAM LA for another quarter(the last one for a while). I was super frustrated about myself and I felt like a failure and just not content with who I am and where I was at, at that point. But I surrendered it all to God AGAIN. I didn't hold anything back. I was so done with everything! I surrendered my failure, my addiction to cigarettes, my loneliness, my struggles and my insecurities. And He challenged me in lots of ways. Here are a few main points. He told me if I would lose everything and eveybody on this earth I still gotta be content cause I have him. That was a big thing I had to go through. Even if I have so much and no one died or anything like that I hade to face the fact that it might happen someday. Or if everybody turns their back on me I have to be content with JUST God. And I said "God I am ready. I am content with just you, whatever it takes!" Then He taught me lots about my beauty and identity in Him. God told me that the fact that I am beautiful and his royal princess is a fact not to be changed. And it doesn't depend on an opinion of a guy I think is cute. That was also hard and painful. Cause it feels stinking great if a cute guy tells me I am beautiful. And it isn't wrong but I depended on it for so long that I had to let go of it. God thinks I am beautiful and that's enough. Cause what if a cute guy would say I am ugly. I would eventually believe it. God in his grace taught me step by step to focus my eyes on him. He didn't expect of me not to look at good looking men anymore but to focus my eyes and heart on him of whats true about myself!And in this whole process of learning I have fallen in love with him. Cause I have focused on him as a friend and not as someone who can give me something. So I asked God for a scripture this morning that would go with this post and before I was done praying He gave me Song of Songs 3. Hahahah and it is perfect! God is so good!

One night as I lay in bed, I yearned for my lover. I yearned for him, but he did not come. So I said to myself, "I will get up and roam the city, Sarching in all its streets and squares, I will search for the one I love." So I searched everywhere but did not find him. The watchmen stopped me as they made their rounds, and I asked, "Have you seen the one I love?" Then scarcely had I left them when I found my love! I caught and held him tightly, then I brought him to my mother's House, into my mother's bed, where I had been conceived. Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, by the gazelles and wild deer, not to awaken love until the time is right! Song of Songs 3: 1-5

It fits cause so many nights I felt alone and thought of when I will be able to share my bed with someone! I felt ampty and unloved. I ran around looking for my lover but he was always right with me! Then I found him and took him home to my parents's house and when I lay in bed now I just feel content and loved. And if you believe it or not I get sometimes butterflies when I think about God.

Women and men, don't awaken love until it's right. I believe now, that God will awaken love in our hearts if we trust him and ask for wisdom in every step we take. And if the right man or woman has arrived in our lives He will certainly awaken love in our hearts and give us the green light to be persued or persue!!

Becoming His Bride

A radiant bride greeted her guests with a brilliant smile as she entered the reception hall after the wedding ceremony. She gracefully moved about the room, the train of her white gown flowing along the floor behind her, her veil cascading down her button-adorned back

She conversed with each guest one by one, taking the time to mingle and soak up the compliments.

"You look absolutely lovely."

"Your dress is divine."

"I've never seen a more beautiful bride."

"What a stunning ceremony."

The lavish praises rang on and on. The bride couldn't be more proud or more appreciative of the crowd's adoration. She could have listened to them swoon over her all evening. As a matter of fact, she did.

BUT WHERE WAS THE GROOM??

All the attention focused on the bride and never once did she call anyone's attention to her husband. She didn't even notice his absence at her side. Scanning the room, I searched for him, wondering, Where could he be?

I finally found him, but not where I expected him to be. The groom stood alone over in the corner of the room with his head down. As he stared at his ring, twisting the gold band that his bride had just placed on his finger, tears trickled down his cheeks and onto his hands. That is when I noticed the nail scars. The groom was JESUS.

He waited, but the bride never once turned her face toward her groom. She never held His hand. She never introduced the guests to Him. She operated independently of Him.

I awoke with a sick feeling in my stomach, realizing that I'd been dreaming....

(from the book "Every Young Woman's Battle"! Author, Shannon Ethridge, Stephen Arterburn)

When I read this story it almost broke my heart! I looked back on my life and I realzied that I could've been this bride. I have given my life to Jesus. I have placed the wedding band on his finger but I hardly held his hand or introduced people to him. I might have told people about him but I guess my actions didn't really line up with my words. And I soaked up all the compliments people gave me!

I would say I was almost addicted to those compliments. They kept me alive and made me feel beautiful and wanted!

I am glad that in the last half year of my life I've realized more what it means to become Jesus's bride and own it. But it still hurts my heart when I look back and realize all the times I have left my husband in a corner not even caring about how HE feels about what I do. 

I am super thankful for this story and the picture it gave me! 

Compliments are nothing bad. Don't get me wrong. But Jesus should be right at our side. We should hold his hand or be cuddled up in his arms and soak up all compliments he is giving us. 

And you know when you feel like a guy is persuing you and loving on you, there is not too much time to doubt if you are beautiful or not. When I feel loved and persued I feel soooo beautiful and I hardly think about if I am too fat or not funny or not beautiful enough, but I just enjoy the time of being loved. That's how it is supposed to be. When we put the wedding band on Jesus's finger we walk into a room and stay close to him. We introduce him to everybody cause he is our first love!! And we are excited about him. And when we get compliments, we will be blessed by those but just because we know already that we are beautiful and that we are loved and that we are stunning!! Cause our husband has told us those things already 1000 times more than all those guests on the wedding!

I really try to keep that picture in mind. The other night when I thought about the picture of this story and how I walk in a room with Jesus by my side and not alone I got butterflies and I feel like I get more and more what it means to fall in love with Jesus and becoming his bride!!

Once a woman becomes a bride, the focus of her life and priorities change, and all other people and priorities pale in comparison to her primary love relationship!!

(from the book "Every Young Woman's Battle"! Author, Shannon Ethridge, Stephen Arterburn)

Stewardship and God's faithfulness

So this is just a little fun story I want to post. But it is also a story of Gods goodness and faithfulness!

My room I have at home in my partents's house is not too big and plus I have tons of things everywhere. I had already a lot when I was younger but with traveling so much the last 3 years and always being home for just a little while I was okay with it.

But because I know this time I will be home a little longer (only God knows for how long or if forever=) I just needed a change! In Ywam I have learned a lot about stewerdship! So I thought if I have a small room and I want something bigger sometime I might should take really good care of what I have now. Cause how can God trust me with something bigger if I can't even take care of the small!

So I decided 2 weeks ago that I wanted to rearrange my room and make it look way nicer. First I wanted to wait until I have a job to get some cute furniture for it. Cause everything costs money right. But then I said "God I have soooo much time right now to do those things. I just need to find cute cheap furniture". I went to Ikea with my mom and we had such a fun afternoon picking out little things. My mom is super awesome and paid for a few things so I only paid like 150 dollars for so many things. 

So the next day I started cleaning out my room and throwing tons of stuff away. Until my room was almost empty. And then I saw all my walls and they were still white but they just looked dirty. So I went to my dad and asked if we still have white paint and he answered with yes. Guess what I did the next 2 days. Exactly I painted my walls and after a looooong week of cleaning and throwing away stuff and painting I was able to make my room look super cute and nice.

 My room before the change! And if you believe it or not. This is as tidy as it was able to be=)

 painting and having good talks with God

After!!! I even cleaned and organized my closet

After!!!Yep everything in it's right place!!! 

After!!! New little table and a new rack for my clothes

After!!! New mirror, lamp and drawer for my make up and hair stuff(my parents kept the drawer for me, cause they got a new one)

And a little story of God just being suuper awesome...

Because I haven't been home in a long time for a whole winter I might have had lots of shoes(most of them given to me) but not any shoes that actually kept my feet warm in the snow or the coldness of the winter in switzerland. So I also wanted to wait until I get a job. But then I said to God again: "Lord, I don't have a job yet but my feet are relly cold right now, and I need shoes! You know my budget please let me find some fun and warm shoes!!"

Guess what?!? I found two pairs of shoes! They were worth 150 Dollars, BUT they were on sale and I got them for 50 dollars! God is so awesome and he cares for EVERY SINGLE LITTLE THING in our life!!!

My Strong Tower

I'm looking for a job right now. I have applied in quite a few places, but there were not to many positive reponses yet.
I mean I was able to go for an interview but I just didn't feel peace to actually work there. So I have all those thoughts of what people could think if I don't take the first job that is offered to me, or if I expect something that is too good to be true.
I have all those lies in my head that "I am lazy", "after working in missions I might not be able to work something else anymore", "my money will run out" or "I will work somewhere horrible". All those lies constantly run through my head and it makes it hard to stay content with God and trust him. But I fight against it.
It is crazy cause just in the last Blog I wrote about my fight against loneliness. But I haven't really struggled too much with that this week... Satan will never stop to make life hard for us. He will never stop wanting to destroy us. He hates us! It is a daily fight. But sometimes it seems easier for us and sometimes it is harder for us to fight this battle. I guess he tries the hardest when we are about to do something great with God. And that makes me happy. Cause I really feel like God is about to do something great in and through my life!

As I was having quiet time this morning and as I was asking the Lord for help, that he would fill me with faith and confidence that everything is in his hands, he led me to this scripture:

"Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again, rejoice! Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do. Remember, the Lord is coming soon. Don't worry about anything, instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."

I know those words so well and yet it just always comforts my heart. And it works in every situation. Don't worry but pray! Be THANKFUL!
Well , so I started thanking the Lord for all the things I have and praying for those things that bring worries to my heart and he gave me an awesome picture for those times of trouble. Here it is:

I saw a strong tower in the middle of a battle field and also a tower in the middle of a crazy storm!
The Lord was telling me "If you hold on to that strong tower/ Me / The Lord nothing can harm you or blow you away. In times of battle you hold on to the strong tower. You might get some scratches of the explosions around you or you can feel the heat but nothing more, cause I am the Lord and I won't be shaken!
If there is a storm around you, you hold on to this strong tower. Yes you might feel the wind and the rain around you. And it feels like it's gonna blow you away. It might cost you all your strength to hold on to it but the strong tower is not to be shaken."
He also told me "Keep fighting daughter and don't worry after every battle follows peace and after every storm the sun will shine again."

Don't we have an awesome God! I have more than I need. No reason to worry. And I wanted to buy a car! I thought of an amount of money I am willing to spend and God gave me and awesome car for even less than the amount i was thinking of. He takes care of us. And he will give us what we need. But everything in it's time!! My job will come at the right time and until then I enjoy spending time with my provider!!
But hey, prayers are appreciated!=)
God bless you all!!

Feeling lonely

New Years Eve!! How nice would it be not to show up alone to another New Years Eve party. Dang, how many more years will it be that way....

Those were my thoughts. I prayed that God would make me feel so beatuiful and NOT alone. My friend picked me up to go to the party and I shared my struggle with her. She was listening and encouraged me.
When I got to our friends house where the party was held, it was filled with people. Of course mostly couples, married people, pregnant wifes and little children. My insecurtiy raised like 100%! Oh and not even 30 minutes after we got there I sat with two married girls and a 3 girl showed up that is in a relationship. She sat down her cheeks glowing. Super excited she tells us how her boyfriend just proposed to her in the morning. I was so happy for them but somehow my heart ached.
I forced a smile and congratulated her. But the only thing I wanted to do was leaving the party and just cry.
Successfully I held back my tears and a little later I talked to my friend agian. The one I shared my struggle with in the car earlier that evening.

Satan wanted to make my evening really terrible. He wanted to make cigarettes, alcohol and seeking my attention in men look really attractive, cause that would have been super comforting in that moment.But God was there with me. He heard my prayer before the party. The Lord knows my heart. And he doesn't let satan get to close to me.

My friend encouraged me again. She told me how she looks up to me. How she desires that relationship I have with the Lord. She said she loves spending time with me cause she feels so uplifted in those times!

A little later I am sitting next to her husband. He tells me how much transformation he has seen in me. He said I left 3 years ago, to go to LA and I came back as a total different person. Obviously he still recognized the way I looked but he hardly recognized me as a person. I have become so different in a positive way! He sees the way I devote my life to the Lord and everytime his wife comes back after hanging out with me she tells him how much of an awesome time she had. He encouraged me that what I am doing is excatly the right thing. That I might still be single but that I am falling in love with God and that I follow him. He sees how other women look up to me and the relationship I have with Jesus!

Later on I was hanging out with my dear friend Hannah! We had so much fun and all of a sudden she looks at me and tells me how beautiful I am. How my beauy comes from the inside out. And that this makes my outer beauty shine even brighter. She told me how good my body looks and how I am not allowed to doubt that fact!!

Seriously God is so good. I was so insecure and felt lonely. And I thought people might have pity on me and think "What?? She is still alone!! Please God give that woman a husband!!". But I don't think that anybody thought stuff that was even close to what I imagined they would. The ones that told me what they think were excactly God's thoughts about me!
Satan is the fahter of lies! Don't give him room to lie to you but listen to the father of truth. His truth is fullfilling and brings joy, confidence and contentment. I am not alone and neither am I desperate. I have desires but I trust in the Lord who wants only the best at the perfect time for me.

So in the time of waiting, I won't just sit around and wait and be sad about it. I will fight those feeling and live the life of fullness. I will devote my life to the Lord and follow him and encourage as much people as possible around me!
Whatever situation you are in, it is a gift God has given you. He wants to teach you something. So sit in class and learn as much as you can cause it will prepare you for the next gift the Lord will give you!!

Hannah & Me

Sandy that I shared my struggle with

Well that's me enjoying the sun in the swiss mountains=)

Love your enemies

Today i went on a walk in the forest. It was beautfiul weather and I just thought instead of having a time with God in my room, I should go outside and enjoy his beauty.

As I was praying and singing to Him, Jesus reminded me of my last Blog I posted about that he was rich and became poor so we can become rich. 

I was just thinking again of the fact, that Jesus left the riches of heaven to rescue us. I was thinking about the love he has for us, no one can understand. He was here on earth to teach us how to live. While I was meditating on this, my thoughts went all over the place(like always=). But somehow I came to think about my friends and family and people I could pray for. All of a sudden this scripture came to my mind:

But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you!! Matth. 5:44

I should love my enemies?? I should pray for the ones who persecute me?? The ones who lie to me? The ones that talk bad behind my back?? The ones that make/made fun of me?? The ones that broke my heart??

And guess what!? Excactly those ones are the ones we should love/pray for!

Isn't that hard?? Right now I don't think I have a person I have a really hard time with. But I defenetely had before and I am sure I will meet someone like that in my life again! I was just dwelling in that and thinking how it seems so impossible. It is so stinkin hard to love people we really don't want to love. Those we would love to slap in the face! Is it even possible??

And then I went back to the thought I had earlier in the walk. Jesus has a love for us no one can understand. He came to teach us how to live.

And He did it. He did exactly what seems so impossible. He loved his enemies. He prayed for those who persecuted him. He was at the cross for our sins. He was made fun of, beaten and hurt for us. But He didn't chose to cuss, he didn't chose anger BUT he prayed for his enemies! He prayed for the ones that hung him to the cross!

Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they don't know what they are doing." Luke 23:34

I am so blessed to serve a God that knows what I am going through. I am so thankful for the way he speaks to me and that his grace is never ending. Thank you Father for your mercy!!

Thanks for reading my thoughts and what I am learning with God. I wish you a happy new year and may the Lord surprise you lots of times in this upcoming year!